Winter Solstice – Remembering Ben

                 Winter Solstice – Darkness into Light

Winter Solstice, December 21, 2013 marks the one  year anniversary of the passing of my step-son, Ben.  There is something final about this year – for this year is one of firsts – the   first Christmas, Easter, birthday, Father’s Day …without him.  It is like we have been holding our breaths for a whole year.. We have lived through a Year of Darkness and our family has   been changed forever.

And so now we enter once again that sacred, silent time of year that beckons us to be still and to dive beneath the waters of our everyday existence, and touch the murky underpinnings of our grief that we shove below the surface of our day -to-day existence.  This grief, which seems to have a life of its own, as it ebbs and flows and sometimes threatens to drown us.  We are forced to face the reality – he’s not just locked away somewhere, he really is gone, locked away in our forever memories.


Our family gathered to celebrate the Solstice and to find solace in those collective memories.  We lit the bonfire and thanked the Ancient Ones for allowing us to gather again.  And then we took a spark from that fire and brought it indoors.  One by one, from the youngest on, we lit a tealight from that Sacred Fire and placed it around the ashes of our loved one.   When we were all in a circle, we remembered with laughter, tears and joy, the

                                                            Sunday gang (1)

                                                Son/Brother/Father/Grandfather who was/is our Ben.

                                                     BENJAMIN ROBERT YEAGER  –  4/26/73-12/21/12